“Every limit is a beginning as well as an ending. Who can quit young lives after being long in company of them, and not desire to know what befell them in their after-years? For the fragment of a life, however typical, is not the sample of an even web: promises may not be kept, and an ardent outset may be followed by declension; latent powers may find their long-waited opportunity; a past error may urge a grand retrieval.” – George Eliot, Middlemarch
Well this is it, my academic career ends today. Well, not exactly…I still have two papers and a take-home final to finish off. But today and tonight are my last two classes. It’s some sort of rite of passage, but I really don’t feel anything at this point.
It’s quite possible at this point that I may end up leaving DC after a fantastic two years here. And I do find myself reflecting a bit on this point…did I take enough advantage of the area and all it has to offer in the time I was here? I felt the same way when I left Austin almost two years ago. It’s hard to definitively answer that question…it’s part of my temperament and makeup to always be asking if I could have done more. So perhaps there’s nothing that can be done on this front. What I do know is that I am ultimately better off for having gotten my MBA here in the Washington DC area, no matter what happens in both the near and distant future.
I can’t quite bring myself to be excited about graduating…it’s really not resonating with me on any level. In one regard, it’s really not the same when you’re 30. But that’s only a singular aspect of it, and admittely a minor one. The main reason is the obvious X-factor that trumps all others. The job search continues….there are interesting possibilities, but I will remain consumed by it until it is done. There is no satisfaction, nothing to savor, until a conclusion is reached. It colors everything I do and a large part of who I am at present; it is the prism through which I view the world. I remain focused, committed, and driven – there is no other alternative.
Song: Depeche Mode “Wrong”
Didn’t really care for it at first listen, but I heard it twice yesterday and it’s really starting to grow on me.
Quote: Some more George Eliot….
“For there is no creature whose inward being is so strong that it is not greatly determined by what lies outside it.”
Certainly applicable to modern life in America circa 2009. By no means an excuse, but simply a fact – whether I want to fully accept it or not.